Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Anti-Theses for Anti-Theists

Martin Luther presented 99 Theses; I propose 50, not necessarily sequentially and in installments. My aim is not Reformation but Malformation, but perhaps the two are identical tendencies. After all, as that non-clerical poet Pope once wrote: "Extremes in nature equal ends produce." So then:

2. A paradigm and a para-nickel equal fifteen nonsenses.

5. In this age of silicon, I long for the age of vellum.

6. Nitrous and nectar are vaguely adequate as antitheses.

36. The French word for breast, "poitrine," is the only blemish
on that language's beauty.

33. Will you dance with a part of the whole or wholly part from the dance?

20. Is there anything more insufferable than a hot-air balloon?

16. I predict the preterite, so back I go.

9. A field and a tree will never fight.

12. When one falls from great heights, great hates feel less so on impact.

13. If an anonymous person shakes your hand for no reason, follow him or her to the ends of the earth to reciprocate.

--Curley, 2007